The first #philmclub viewing will take place on Tuesday 31st January, 2012 at 8:30pm.

Available from Amazon for a couple of quid here.

Watch via Netflix here.

Download on iTunes here.

So, the plan is – we’ll all be ready to simultaneously press play at exactly 8:30pm, have our Twitter loaded up & ready to join the chat. Make sure you use the #philmclub hastag to make it searchable & make some popcorn or summit’.

NB: If you don’t like this film or don’t fancy watching it; suck it up! Join in the chat anyway. That’s the whole point. It’s a shared experience – so if you think Mike Myers’ Scottish accent is shite, then TWEET THAT. Got it? Cool.

TTFN,

P. x

Like movies? Like talking shite on the internet?

‘Mon join the #philmclub!

We’ll not make this a weekly or monthly thing. I’ll create a list of #philmclub members & we’ll keep in touch via that & arrange it for times that suit, so suggestions welcome – but if you fanny around & can’t make it – then don’t worry! We’ll have more!

The idea:

• We pick a film. This can be any film at all. Doesn’t have to be good – having taken part in @Glinner’s bad movie club a few years back – the shite films were the best fun. Doesn’t matter where you get the film, be it iTunes, Netflix, Love Film, Amazon, Blockbuster, HMV, your pal’s DVD collection..doesn’t matter. Just get a copy; don’t worry though, we’ll give you a week’s notice to get the DVD.

• We arrange a time. Once we’ve set a time, the idea is that we all press play simultaneousl

• We open up our twitter. If you search the hashtag ‘#philmclub’ we can all keep up with the chat about the film & interact with each other!

Easy.

Tweet @philiplarkin if you want to take part!

I did a wee talk for Social Media Week, 2011. I talked about Social Storytelling; have a wee look here if you like.

Oh, Mr Cocozza – you’re a silly billy.

So, in a bid to retrieve my deposit – I’ve been sending little reminders to my stingy ex-landlord. (See below)

I’ve been sending these texts as often as possible, throughout the day (and night). Just as little reminders as to how I’m not going to just let this go…

After two weeks of not picking up the phone to me, I FINALLY got through to him today. He was very VERY cross.

He said words like ‘fuck’ and ‘cunt’ and other nasty things. And he threatened to report me to the police too. How rude!

I remained calm and collected (as ever) whilst on the phone, but I just couldn’t get a word in edgeways, with all of the obscenities coming out of his mouth. So, when he rudly hung up on me – I sent him a text to clear a few things up…

I cannot wait to hear from him! 

(NB: His name (again) is Tony Cocozza. The address to his property is 86 Hyndland Road, Glasgow, G12 9PZ. And his phone number is 07714 296096. DO NOT RENT FROM HIM.)

TTFN,

x

A couple of months ago, I was selected to join a group of writers including Ann Marie Di Mambro, Amy Roberts, Owen Bell, Chris Dolan, Martin McArdie and Sandy Nelson to storyline the series arc and write an episode of live radio soap, Westenders for Oran Mor in Glasgow. My episode (episode 5) premiered on May 12th, starring Juliet Cadzow (Balamory), David Walshe, Kate Donnelly (Still Game), Gavin Mitchell (Still Game), Tom Urie (River City) and Lisa Gardener (River City).

The main character Pearl (the theatrical landlady played by Juliet Cadzow of Balamory fame) is being investigated by her lodger, Farquar (Gavin Mitchell of Still Game/ Takin’ Over the Asylum) who unbeknownst to her is an Arts Council spy. Farquar happened upon Pearl’s guest house by accident when he was kicked out of his family home by his cheating wife, Deirdre.

Pearl has been give the last grant in Scotland worth £20,000 – and she’s blown it all on new tits and a facelift. She justifies this as ‘research’ for her play ‘The Silver Beaver’.

Pearl’s brother Diamond is a pre-op transexual (he’s already had his boobs done), who has been unsure as to whether or not he should get the snip. Every episode until now has featured a ‘will he/won’t he’ storyline, and he’s finally settling on remaining 100% man and 50% woman – but people won’t stop talking about his cock.

Beryl (Pearl & Diamond’s elderly mother played by Kate Donnelly of Cracked/Chewin’ the Fat fame), is a feisty granny who has no shame in sharing her stories of debauchery with her not-so-typical family. Beryl is wise of Farquar’s scheming as an arts council spy – but no-one believes her madness.

In this episode, Pearl is struggling with finding the ‘missing taboo’ of her play, and Diamond confides in his mother that his willy seems to be growing the more people talk about it…

NB: The recording is a candid recording of the table read, so there will be a little chatter, a few slip ups and a lack of SFX. Also, it’s a bit dirty…

But that’s not where the buck stops. Sheen, like God is also an entity whom when dormant – doesn’t really generate much fuss. When God is quiet, his followers are relatively subdued and content. They go about their daily lives, tuning in with a prayer every now and again; just as many tune in to watch Two & a Half Men every once in a while.

Charlie Sheen, when dormant also creates a calm leadership base for his many fans. But just like when natural disaster, untimely death or plague strikes – God’s followers go apeshite. They question his existence & they curse him for their misfortune.

What I’m basically saying is – have faith in Charlie Sheen. Granted, he fucked up & has gone fucking mental as of late – but he’s just a wee man who went nuts. Just like God does, sometimes. People have already begun forgiving God for the recent Christchurch disaster.

I’m not wholly sympathetic to Sheen’s case, to be honest. What’s most astounding is that at present Libya is in a state of civil unrest – and the majority of the ‘haterz’ as they like to be called are hating on Charlie Sheen – a man who’s going through a mental breakdown. Move along here… Nothing to see.

Col. Gaddafi however, is one to watch. Because not only is he a man who’s suffering (much like Sheen) severe mental instability; he’s a cunt.

So, please! Ignore Sheen. Let him recover & return to our screens in some mediocre show which will more than likely focus on the lovability of fucked up junkies (judging from the current state of his PR team & that AWFULLY desperate @charliesheen twitter account). Let’s focus on Gaddafi instead. Or God. Just leave Charlie Sheen alone!

TTFN,
x

(NB: God & Charlie Sheen may not exist as real people; they may merely be creations of the media.)

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It’s not a secret that I’m a huge Aaron Sorkin fanatic. The West Wing, Sports Night, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, A Few Good Men, The American President and Charlie Wilson’s War (to name a few) should and most likely will someday sit amongst literary greats such as Poe, Eliot & Shakespeare.

His work for telelvision, I believe is his best; more than likely due to the freedom he’d have on TV, compared to film. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that Sorkin’s words are something only the finest, most humble actors can deliver.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Michael Douglas, Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise and Demi Moore are fine actors, and have great track records – but they all also have one thing in common. They just don’t quite cut it in Sorkin’s film roles.

Now, yes – this is opinion and I know, these actors are highly successful and whatnot. BUT, why is it that their performance are always shadowed by lesser-known actors, or TV regulars such as Allison Janney, John Slattery, Josh Malina, Brad Whitford, Rob Lowe, Felicity Huffman, Richard Schiff, Michael J Fox, and the late, brilliant John Spencer. 

That’s because these guys are grafters. They’re humble, they are unassuming, and they just bloody ‘get it’. 

By ‘it’ I mean Sorkin’s rhythm and by ‘get’ I mean, they make it shine.

I guess it’s down to ego. The bigger the star, the more they tend to command attention and take away from the spirit of the text. This is entirely true of Michael Douglas in The American President. I’m sorry, but he just kills it for me. I was more compelled by Sheen, Malina and Bening’s scenes. Douglas brings something of an air of wankiness to the role and tries to command the rhythm of the text – but instead, he stands out like a an RSC thespian in a soap opera. 

Actors who are conscious of their performance, tend to fuck it up. I’m not saying they are bad actors, but what I am saying is that they can’t handle Sorkin-speak. 

Then there’s the reverse. The late John Spencer as White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry in The West Wing, gave some of the most compelling performances that I’ve ever seen in both film and television. Now Spencer, didn’t come from a background of elusive filmic or televisual roles – the most notable before The West Wing being a long stint on LA Law as Tommy Mullaney. But, wow didn’t he just shine in Sorkin. Because he was a grafter, he just got it. And did it. And boy, wasn’t he special. 

Now, there are a few exceptions. Phillip Seymour Hoffman does a very good job in Charlie Wilson’s War, Annette Bening is compelling to watch in The American President and Mr Martin Sheen proves an absolute delight in both The American President and of course as Jed Bartlet in The West Wing.

It’s quite hit and miss, but I do think there is a certain type of actor that just knows how to nail it, where Sorkin is concerned. The future Burbages, Burtons and Condells are Joshua Malina, Allison Janney and the rest of the aforementioned Sorkin greats.

TTFN,

x